Pepperidge Farm Jingos are not jingly

Today in this crazy world there are a lot of choices when it comes to selecting which cheesy cracker based snack that you will inevitably buy and eventually become dependent upon. Unfortunately, the Jingos are not likely to be your top priority for your food stamp usage.

Fiesta cheddar: racist?

Being a pepper person, I immediately reached for the fiesta cheddar flavor hoping for it to be a party of cheese like landscapers at a Packers game. But it is neither a party nor a true cheesy flavor. It advertises for bold flavor and snappy crunch, and, well, at least it has the crunch BUT I DIDN'T BUY IT FOR THE CRUNCH I WANTED BOLD FLAVOR.

Jingos claim to be always baked and no artificial preservatives. Always baked? Nigga, you tell me these cheeses be smokin weed? No artificial shit all up in ma dro? Sheeeeit.

From the Jingos box itself:

Ready for a bite? no

Our uniquely crunchy crackers are always baked and are seasoned twice for an explosive taste every time! It's Jingos! A fun new way to snack from Pepperidge Farm.

If these are seasoned twice, then I don't want to eat the seasoned but once kind. On a scale of zero two the long dead buffalo twisted cheez its, these meximelts get a 1 chrome ball out of 5.

Chrome vs carbon fiber 2012

Some people refute the claim that everything will be chrome in the future. A respected source said to me:

everything is resin infused carbon fiber in the future

But, as you can see here, it is possible to chrome carbon:

Reel talk

Your move, nonbelievers.

The best pencils of all time

The greatest pencils known to man: the mirado black warrior. Endorsed by chrome, powered by dead trees: mirado black warrior will turn any written work into a kickass product. Mechanical pencils are the devil: don't trust anyone who uses mechanical pencils. They are most likely dumb. Trust what you know. Trust mirado black warrior. Reliability testing firm Hill Wannon approves this message.

fivestar and sevenstars movie script

(1:35:19 AM) [fleshlite syndicate]: ("Colonel Stringray Johnson" sevenstarx)
dchappelleshow3 (6:35:45 PM): shyt ma momma not pickin up da phone
SevenStar X (6:37:12 PM): niggerz hav unleashed an emp in da city
SevenStar X (6:37:18 PM): all communicationz hav been serverd
dchappelleshow3 (6:38:03 PM): lmfao
dchappelleshow3 (6:38:10 PM): mAyun
dchappelleshow3 (6:38:16 PM): dat shud b how a flashhhhhhhh goez
dchappelleshow3 (6:38:25 PM): niggerz release da emp
dchappelleshow3 (6:38:45 PM): all of los angeles has no communication except for gang signz
dchappelleshow3 (6:39:14 PM): and a young man has to learn da gangsta wayz to save LA
dchappelleshow3 (6:39:32 PM): othawise da bloodz are gonna executed da dodgers starting lineup
dchappelleshow3 (6:39:40 PM): and kershaw
dchappelleshow3 (6:39:58 PM): mayun kershaw has a gun to his head as we speak
dchappelleshow3 (6:40:22 PM): and thurr beatin da shit outta furcal and callin him wetback./ spic
dchappelleshow3 (6:42:00 PM): and den
dchappelleshow3 (6:42:07 PM): da onlay people
dchappelleshow3 (6:42:10 PM): who know da code
dchappelleshow3 (6:42:32 PM): to da goldmine underneath la
dchappelleshow3 (6:42:39 PM): are da dodgerz
dchappelleshow3 (6:42:44 PM): but they aren't speakin
dchappelleshow3 (6:42:57 PM): they're bein tortured...
(1:35:30 AM) [fleshlite syndicate]: ("Colonel Stringray Johnson" sevenstarx)
dchappelleshow3 (6:43:11 PM): they gotta watch re runs of tha bravez winnin da pennant
dchappelleshow3 (6:43:36 PM): da san francisco 49erz neva found da gold mine cuz it waz rly in LA
dchappelleshow3 (6:44:25 PM): but it just so happenz
dchappelleshow3 (6:44:32 PM): that rocco baldelli can help us out
dchappelleshow3 (6:44:45 PM): he's an experienced sniper
dchappelleshow3 (6:44:52 PM): he's a seasoned veteran, we shall say...
dchappelleshow3 (6:45:15 PM): and he is toting a barret 50cal with niggers names on da bullets
dchappelleshow3 (6:46:09 PM): we also have jerry sandusky drivin a tank with wayne brady at the helm of the gun
dchappelleshow3 (8:51:46 PM): mr peterson...
dchappelleshow3 (8:51:47 PM): yes?
dchappelleshow3 (8:51:58 PM): we have a hostage situation
dchappelleshow3 (8:52:04 PM): Who's the hostage?
dchappelleshow3 (8:52:14 PM): Sir...
dchappelleshow3 (8:52:23 PM): Who is it god damnit?!?
dchappelleshow3 (8:52:26 PM): they have him
dchappelleshow3 (8:52:29 PM): WHO?
dchappelleshow3 (8:52:34 PM): Clayton...
dchappelleshow3 (8:52:40 PM): and the whole squad
dchappelleshow3 (8:52:46 PM): Oh my god
dchappelleshow3 (8:53:12 PM): Do we have hostage negotiators?
dchappelleshow3 (8:53:45 PM): Sir..;. we don't negotiate with terroits... these ruthless nappy head hunters are the baddest of the bad... they are... the bloods
dchappelleshow3 (8:54:00 PM): Oh my gosh
(1:35:39 AM) [fleshlite syndicate]: ("childchode" dudestarzx) anyone want a shoutout
(1:35:42 AM) [fleshlite syndicate]: ("Colonel Stringray Johnson" sevenstarx)
dchappelleshow3 (8:54:45 PM): We are currently assembling a team to take down the terroists
dchappelleshow3 (8:55:06 PM): I have taken the liberty to contact elite members of the Crips Brotherhood of America
dchappelleshow3 (8:55:27 PM): They're on our side, chief
dchappelleshow3 (8:56:26 PM): You will meet with Slim Locc at the crack of dawn tomorrow to scrape up a plan
dchappelleshow3 (8:56:31 PM): next day
dchappelleshow3 (8:56:40 PM): Hey, is this the Slim locc residence
dchappelleshow3 (8:56:52 PM): Halt, who goes there, stranger?
dchappelleshow3 (8:57:17 PM): I am detective Adrian Peterson of the Minnesota task force
dchappelleshow3 (8:57:35 PM): Yo wat u tryin to do, B
dchappelleshow3 (8:57:54 PM): I want what you want... I wanna take these bastards down
dchappelleshow3 (8:58:12 PM): YOU WANT WHAT I WANT?
dchappelleshow3 (8:58:36 PM): goddamnit you wanna know wat i want?!?
dchappelleshow3 (8:58:40 PM): I was fucking justice
dchappelleshow3 (8:58:50 PM): they killed ma nigga tookie
dchappelleshow3 (8:58:55 PM): *i want
dchappelleshow3 (8:59:26 PM): Tookie? He deserved what he got and he got justice all right
dchappelleshow3 (9:00:06 PM): WHAT THE FUCK DO U KNO ABOUT JUSTICE, UR JUST A SLAVE OF SOCIETY... UR JuST A SCOUNDREL TRYIN TO GET THE LEFTOVER SCRAPS AT A BUTCHER SHop
dchappelleshow3 (9:00:35 PM): UR THE LEFTOVER SESAME SEEDS THAT FELL OFF A HAMBURGER BUn
(1:35:54 AM) [fleshlite syndicate]: ("Colonel Stringray Johnson" sevenstarx)
dchappelleshow3 (9:01:03 PM): woh woh woh... i'm sorry about ur friend, but that doesn't have anything to do with the situation
dchappelleshow3 (9:02:00 PM): mr peterson... have u ever lost a dear friend... a friend who really cared for you and would always give u the last popsicle in the box?... tookie was that friend for me... and i miss him
dchappelleshow3 (9:02:35 PM): i'm sorry for your loss, slim but if we work together we can take down the Bloods Terroist Organization
dchappelleshow3 (9:02:56 PM): R u ready to take them down?
dchappelleshow3 (9:03:06 PM): HELL YEAH LETZ GET STRAPPED, B
dchappelleshow3 (9:03:15 PM): meanwhile in compton...
dchappelleshow3 (9:04:15 PM): CLAYTON WAT"Z UP LIL FUCK FACE LIL PRETTY BOY R U THE GOLDEN BOY OF THE DODGERS U LIL SHITHEAD? LEMME PAINT A PICTURE FOR YOu... A LEFT HANDED PITCHER WITH A SPOON IN HIS ASS
dchappelleshow3 (9:04:44 PM): wat do u want for me? i'm just a left handed superstar pitcher who throws in the mid 90
dchappelleshow3 (9:04:46 PM): s
dchappelleshow3 (9:05:11 PM): you are gonna tell us how to get in the fujita gold mine
dchappelleshow3 (9:05:24 PM): wat r u talkin about i don't kno about .. ?
dchappelleshow3 (9:05:45 PM): AHHHH GODDAMN NIGGER *puts hot cigarette on kershaw's forehead
dchappelleshow3 (9:06:15 PM): YOU SON OF A BITCH I"M GONNA THROW A FOUR SEEM RIGHT THROUGH UR DOME
dchappelleshow3 (9:07:10 PM): AHA ur makin threats?... well it looks like that masking tape around ur wrists is holdin u up in a jam
dchappelleshow3 (9:08:01 PM): we can either kill u and ur gold glove shortstop... or u will give us access to da mine
dchappelleshow3 (9:08:48 PM): meanwhile
dchappelleshow3 (9:08:58 PM): HEY HOW U LIKE IT SPIC
dchappelleshow3 (9:09:10 PM): HOW TO LIKE GETTIN SPRAYED WIT WATER, WETBACK HAHAHA
dchappelleshow3 (9:09:20 PM): HOW U LIKE MA SUPERSOAKER XL 2000 BEYOCH
dchappelleshow3 (9:10:08 PM): come on guys i'm just an honest man tryin to make a livin... all i want is to be famous and make a seven figure salary to play my favorite game
dchappelleshow3 (9:10:49 PM): AHAA Ur Nothin compared to cal ripkin
dchappelleshow3 (9:11:19 PM): den while diz is goin on
(1:35:58 AM) loogie a 707: lmfao
(1:36:04 AM) [fleshlite syndicate]: ("Colonel Stringray Johnson" sevenstarx)
dchappelleshow3 (9:11:41 PM): brett favre is throwin grenades at the super elite gangster fortress
dchappelleshow3 (9:12:27 PM): jamarcus russell is out there shootin tek 9s until he fumbles his guns and ammunition n gets shot thru da heart
dchappelleshow3 (9:13:51 PM): jamarcus sez to jerry sandusky... they took ma heart jerr, dey took ma heart
dchappelleshow3 (9:14:02 PM): and jerry whispers... i will remember you
dchappelleshow3 (9:14:29 PM): an den an angel falls frum da sky and starts singin "I willllllll remember you..... will you remember meeee don't let ur love pass u by.... "
dchappelleshow3 (9:14:37 PM): an den jamarcus passes away
dchappelleshow3 (9:15:50 PM): den jerry sandusky picks up an ak-47 and shoots 10 niggers that are tryin to snipe but keep missin cuz they're holdin da sniper sideways
dchappelleshow3 (9:16:59 PM): mr peterson... i need you to put this c4 on da door and blast it open
dchappelleshow3 (9:17:44 PM): adrian takez da c4 in his bicep and is runnin to da doo,r jukin bullets and doin spin moves around land mines
dchappelleshow3 (9:18:32 PM): an den da blood witches summon da nfc championship ghost
dchappelleshow3 (9:19:01 PM): and da ghost whispers in adrian's ear... "chicken livers" and he fumbles the c4
dchappelleshow3 (9:20:02 PM): den he picks up n dropz it again
dchappelleshow3 (9:20:13 PM): he finally getz it and pastes it on da door
dchappelleshow3 (9:20:22 PM): he'z liEk I GOT IT!
dchappelleshow3 (9:20:29 PM): and when'z he turnz away
dchappelleshow3 (9:21:09 PM): dan Marino sez U GOTTA TAKE THE CHILD SECURITY LOCK OFF FIRST
dchappelleshow3 (9:21:28 PM): and den h'ez liek shyt woopsiez and setz it up n it explodez
dchappelleshow3 (9:21:54 PM): da squad runz n da fortress with gunz a blazin shootin every nigger in the red dot sight
dchappelleshow3 (9:22:24 PM): but before dey get too far...
(1:36:15 AM) [fleshlite syndicate]: ("Colonel Stringray Johnson" sevenstarx)
dchappelleshow3 (9:22:43 PM): jesse jackson is waiting for them with a gun turret and shootz dat front line of da squad
dchappelleshow3 (9:23:17 PM): jesse jackson thinkz he has dem all...
dchappelleshow3 (9:24:02 PM): an den jackie chan does 3 flipz and a cartwheel and puts a throwin knife in jesse's throat
dchappelleshow3 (9:24:43 PM): da squad killz a bunch of niggerz in gun fightz and they are outside of the gangster bat cave
dchappelleshow3 (9:24:49 PM): about to break in
dchappelleshow3 (9:25:02 PM): when all of da sudden
dchappelleshow3 (9:25:16 PM): clayton ripz his armz free from da masking tape
dchappelleshow3 (9:25:28 PM): and he triez to run away
dchappelleshow3 (9:25:40 PM): an den
dchappelleshow3 (9:25:45 PM): da squad breaks thru
dchappelleshow3 (9:25:55 PM): and da leader of da bloods.......
dchappelleshow3 (9:26:26 PM): Paul Pierce
dchappelleshow3 (9:26:45 PM): puts a gun to the head of Shawn Kemp
dchappelleshow3 (9:27:06 PM): and everybody'z liek
dchappelleshow3 (9:28:03 PM): WOH SHAWN KEMP?!? The nba superstar who led the Sonics to outstanding regular season records but could never defeat the mighty chicago bulls led by michael jordan, scottie pippen, dennis rodman, and tony kukoc?!?
dchappelleshow3 (9:28:23 PM): anybody but him leave that poor boy alone
(1:36:21 AM) [fleshlite syndicate]: ("uffie of course" charlotzx) god damn it all!! FUCK
(1:36:25 AM) [fleshlite syndicate]: ("Colonel Stringray Johnson" sevenstarx)
dchappelleshow3 (9:28:59 PM): Paul Pierce- Do you know how fucking good a shooter i am inside the paint? i won't miss from this close
dchappelleshow3 (9:29:54 PM): Gives us mr kemp this is the end of the road ear pierce hyuck hyuck hyuck
dchappelleshow3 (9:30:34 PM): Very funny Bob Turk, the news channel 13 weather man for the baltimore urban and metropolitan area
dchappelleshow3 (9:31:14 PM): This gun is loaded with a full metal jacket, you see... and that will penetrate the useless brain of mr kemp and then, some
dchappelleshow3 (9:31:26 PM): but for now i shall make my departure TA TAH
dchappelleshow3 (9:31:36 PM): NOOOOOOOO YOU FUCKING NIGGER GET BACK HERE SHITHEAD!
dchappelleshow3 (9:31:54 PM): 'and paul tries to get away he makez a run for it and shawn getz away
dchappelleshow3 (9:33:04 PM): and den the favorite pet monkey of the bloods throws a banana peel on the floor and paul slipz on it and den getz shot with 72 roundz from assault rifles, and is also blown to bits with mortars and grenades
dchappelleshow3 (9:33:20 PM): the end
\
dchappelleshow3 (9:37:18 PM): there is also a scene where the bloods are playin russian roulette with Jesse Orosco and David Ortiz

eli porter lyrics REPOST

I got one question, man: tell me who’s next! This nigga salt-looking nigga who be getting the best.

-pause-

I’m the best man; I did it.

See, I let you know I’m the best, by the hour. It’s like Rosie O’Donnell at a bisexual bridal shower.

It ain’t nothing to me man. I keep it for real. Look at these gleams, man, with dent on the grill.

See, I’m the best. I Told you that! This dude like that: he running from the cat.

No, I messed up, but I’m going to stay on top. They told me, man, but you know, I’m never going to flop.

Look at this dude, he need to stay in the shade. Ain’t no wonder why he came out – he’s already in the gay parade!

I told you man: I got you roasted like ever. You don’t know, but my rhymes – they straight up clever.

So you step off the pedestal. I’m the best man, you need to go the fucking dental.

i said freakin